D in the B

December 21, 2015

Spring is in the air in everyone's favorite zip code at least that's what they say multiple times in Season 1, Episode 21. This episode opens panning the Quad and brings us to Brandon and Steve roaming the halls of West Bev. Steve says something about the "overriped flower scent" of all of the ladies that makes him a "total dawg." His main flower of hope is Darla Diller and he wants to ask her to the spring dance.

 Darla is a vixen that Steve must have. Steve also mentions something about how if you go to the dance you have to get a room reservation.

 

David "DJ of the 'Beat It, Don't Eat It' Stars" Silver announces the Spring Princess nominees.

 Donna and Kelly listen in anticipation.

 David announces some other girls and then reveals that THE Kelly Taylor is also a Spring Princess nominee. Go Kelly.

 

Over at The Blaze, Ol' Twatty (Andrea) says that the Spring Dance is stupid, but you know she totally wants to go and do it with Brandon. She awkwardly asks Brandon if he's going trying to fish for an invite.

 Brandon is all like "Say what, Ol' Twatty?"

 He's oblivious and says that dances aren't really his thing.

 

Back in the halls, Steve runs into Darla and asks her to the dance.

 Darla asks Steve what kind of car he drives and he says a 'Vette (as in the one with the cool license plate that says I8A 4RE... and your heart). Darla declines saying, "she doesn't do 'Vettes." BURN!

 

Brenda runs into Ol' Twatty in the hallway and asks her if she asked Brandon to the dance yet.

 Ol' Twatty responds in vertical stripes that really slim her shoulder-padded shoulders that it wasn't the right time and that he probably doesn't want to go with her anyway. 

 

Being a bold woman, Kelly goes to the Peach Pit and asks Brandon to be her Spring Prince.

 Nat is astonished that THE Kelly Taylor doesn't already have a date.

 Brandon gives into Kelly. 

 Only because she has the magic touch.

 

Steve doesn't like this magic touch.

 Not one bit.

 

Brandon says that they're going as friends and suggests that Steve should ask Donna and then they can all go as friends together.

 

Kelly is letting all of the Spring Princess biz get to her head and demands Brandon to get a limo because she can't show up in a "Melvin, or whatever he calls it."

 

Ol' Twatty hears all of this and is crushed that Brandon is now going to the dance and with THE Kelly Taylor to (ankle) boot. Kelly adds insult to curly haired injury, saying, "Don't we make a great couple?" Ol' Twatty runs off and sobs into those shoulder pads. They're very absorbent. The lesson to be learned here is, "you snooze, you lose."

 

After school, the guys shop for tuxes that reak of mothballs.

 Steve asks Dylan if he's going to get a room for him and Brenda. Dylan says he doesn't kiss and tell.

 Brandon is not Ok with D sticking it in the B.

 

The girls shop for their frocks too. Kelly and Brenda can't find a thing. At different parts of the store, both shout out that they found the dress. The girls unite and wah, wah, they both like the same dress.

 Brenda tells Kelly to get it because she's a Spring Princess. Kelly tells Brenda to get it because she wouldn't wear it anyway as it's a cheap knockoff of the original. They both decide to get something else.

 

Donna on the other hand is no competition and gets a hideous, red hoop dress that is just a plain mess.

 The gang meets at Casa de Walsh to start the party. Kelly shows up wearing the dress that she shunned. She kisses Brandon hello.

 She pins his corsage.

 The corsage is a radish. Apparently it's all the rage. Now not only does Brandon look hip, but after, he can eat it and help prevent jaundice, indigestion, and urinary disorders.

 Cindy comes out to see all of the kids and is shocked when she sees Kelly.

 There's a problem. Brenda is wearing the same dress.

 Kelly is PISSED.

 How could Brenda do that? Kelly is the Spring Princess.

 

The girls go into the kitchen and get into it.

 Brenda starts finger waving and fiercely says, "Kelly, I don't give a damn!" after Kelly says that people will think they planned it.

 

Jim doesn't want to miss any possible memory telling the girls they look adorable, like the Bobbsey Twins and takes their picture humiliating both of them.

 The pose for the picture is my favorite image in Beverly Hills, 90210 history.

 So much so that it once prompted my friend and I to reenact this scene (with Jello shots) at a Very Special Aaron Spelling Christmas party, circa too long ago.

 Now back to the Whoa!-cap.

 

Dylan gets real handsy with Brenda because tonight is THE night... to do it. D in the B! D in the B!

 Jim and Cindy take more pics of the gang. As Cindy reveals, vertical stripes are soooo in this episode.

 Jim shouts out behind the camera, "Alright, say, 'bitch, please!'"

 Over at Ol' Twatty's house, Andrea is commiserating over buckets of ice cream and horror movies. In a time where art imitates life, she watches the classic flick Prom Nightmare.

 We'll check back with Ol' Twatty later.

 

The rest of the gang arrives at prom and Donna almost shows her "Britney" as she gets out of the limo, but you can't see it with all of the dang fabric of her dress.

 This episode is one of a few where Donna wears something horribly awkward and can't move so well, but she Tim Gunns it and "makes it work."

 Dylan tells Brenda that she's going to lose her virginity before she's actually ready in room 271 because tonight is "our night."

 To persuade her, he goes on to say, "we'll make our appearance and then we'll make our disappearance. You won't have to worry about your clothes for awhile," making light of that whole dress fiasco with Kelly. Brenda is nervous. Dylan really lays it on thick saying, "we're not judging each other, we'll be enjoying each other."

 

The gang goes inside and starts to dance a fool. David bets Scott 20 bucks that he can get THE Kelly Taylor to dance with him before the night is over.

 Kelly shows off her sweet moves with the finisher of tonguing Brandon.

 She confesses that she thought Brandon was cute since the first day he moved to West Bev. Brandon says that the feeling is mutual. Kelly goes on to say that she thinks they would make a great couple. Brandon doesn't feel the same because he knows her too well and thinks of her as a sister... who he open mouth kisses at the spring dance. Kelly says, "that's probably the ugliest thing any guy has ever said to me."

 

Steve doesn't see the full conversation, but saw the kiss and that was enough.

 After adjusting himself, Steve storms off. Brandon runs after him trying to explain that nothing is going on between him and Kelly saying that they're only friends.

 

Steve cries and says, "I don't see any friends around here!"

It turns out that it's not only the spring dance, but also Steve's birthday and he isn't happy. You see, 6 months ago, his mom got drunk and told him that he was adopted. The worst part is that she waited 17 years to tell him and that Kelly was the only one who knew.

 

Brandon gives Steve a shoulder to cry on. Inside the dance they're about to announce who is Spring Queen & King. The crowd watches in extreme anticipation.

 David announces Brad Phillips as the King.

And his Queen is... drum roll, please... 

 

KELLY TAYLOR!

 While Kelly's getting crowned, Brenda is also getting crowned by letting D stick it in the B.

 

D in the B! D in the B!

 

Brenda is no longer unsure and asks Dylan, "How many people get to have sex for the first time with someone they love?" I'm gonna take a wild guess and say not many at all.

 While D and B are getting it in, Ol' Twatty is having nightmares about not going to prom. I will save you the blurry screenshots and give you the real deal here because it's pretty good. Beverly Hills, 90210 had some of the best dream sequences of any show, I must say.

 After this horrible dream, Ol' Twatty decides she wants to go to the dance and asks to borrow her mom's fancywear.

 

Back at the dance, Brandon encourages Kelly to talk to Steve. Kelly leaves her throne and finds Steve in the industrial hallway.

 Steve lays into Kelly telling her that she's the only one as defective as he is. Why? 1) her mom's half in detox, half unconscious. 2) she's never met her dad, but it's all OK if the checks are coming in. Yowza. That's harsh, Steve.

 

Steve cries some more and blames Kelly because she was the only one who knew and didn't reach out to him at all.

 Kelly cries too and tells Steve that "deep inside, he's just a jerk." Through the tears, they work out their pain.

 

Ol' Twatty meets the gang at the dance wearing a sequined, puffy sleeve, over-sized tampon. A.K.A. Her mom's fancywear.

 Ol' Twatty tells the gang that she didn't want to wake up 10 years from now (when she's 47) and realize that she missed high school. Brandon tells her that she looks beautiful and kisses her forehead soaking Ol' Twatty's shapewear.

 

The band that doesn't know why they agreed to be on this show announces that the dance finals are starting. David "Don't Mess with this Runningman" Silver is one of the finalists.

 Of course he's a finalist. 

 

Brenda and Dylan emerge from the virginal magic and congratulate Kelly on her win.

 At first Kelly is all pissed that someone might see them next to each other in the same dress, but quickly changes the sour 'tude telling Brenda that she's glowing. Brenda spills the "virgin no more" beans. The girls hug over D sticking it in the B and how Brenda is now finally a woman.

 

D in the B! D in the B!

 

Donna is still a part of this episode and her dress is proving more harm than good. She can't sit down.

 Again.

 

The dance is wrapping up and David shows off his sweet moves. Here's another video clip as screenshots do this no justice.

 The band who doesn't know why they agreed to be on this episode did not sing this song. I stole this clip from the Internet.

 

David wins the dance contest knees to the floor. Not sure who his dance partner is, but she's about to be bumped by THE Kelly Taylor because she has to dance with the grand champ.

 David just won 20 bucks and a boner on the dance floor.

 

The episode wraps up with everyone sharing Kelly's crown. Brandon says that tonight was one of the strangest nights of all time and Dylan brings it full circle that they all dance in together saying that "Spring is in the air."

 The frickin' end. Only one more episode left of Season 1. What will happen? Stay tuned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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