Can't Read My Whoa!-ker Face!

August 1, 2016

Welcome to the Season 2, Episode 4 Whoa-cap! For those who need a preview before the goods, expect daddy issues, killer tans, gambling and uncomfortable former lovers. 


Season 2, Episode 4 opens up at Jim's office. Jim tells Dylan that he will become flat broke and be in  a lot of pain if he doesn't suck it up and fly to Hawaii where he'll have to make peace with his mother once and all. 


In case you don't remember from Season 2, Episode 3, Dylan's dad was indicted for stealing people's money and for breaking Dylan's heart.

 Dylan doesn't want to see his mother because all of his life, she threw money at him as if it were real love and now he's at a point where he has to ask for her money... and possibly her love. Will Dylan be OK?


Over at the Beach Club, Brandon is busy working moving towels around while Steve distracts him by jumping in the laundry hamper urging him to join in on a top-secret poker game happening at the Beach Club (after dark).

 At Casa de Walsh, Cindy and Dylan have a moment of time, love and tenderness and Cindy offers him a little pocket money during this hard time. While they're busy in the kitchen, Donna comes over and asks Brenda if she wants to go to a movie. Brenda's on the fence. Then Donna, out of character, but not really because her character isn't even established at this point, asks if she can hang out with Dylan if Brenda doesn't want to go to the movie. It's implied that Donna might have a thing for Dylan here.

 Brenda bitch slaps the ho (verbally) and tells her that although she and Dylan are no longer a couple, she still cares about him.

 Later that night, fun is a brewin' at the Beach Club. Steve brings some friends including cool guy, 1-episoder, Danny Waterman (that's a good character name). You may recognize Danny Waterman played by Jason Adams who now goes as Ash Adams as Surfer #1 from Nightmare on Elm Street or as John Reid Ryan from Ryan's Hope. No? Maybe you'll remember him as that guy with an actor looking face.


Before they start the top-secret poker, David blows a load in his Bugle Boys over how great the TV and stereo equipment is in the game room.

 Throughout the game, the boys work on their poker faces.

 My-my-my-my-my Poker face.

 With practice, David nails it.

 Danny Waterman is over these kid antics and starts telling tales of yore (the summer before) when guys used to play for real money. They would have ladies, cigars and big money. He tells the kids to holla when they have real change.

 Brandon goes back to Casa de Walsh and tells his bunk mate, Dylan all about the poker game. Dylan says that there's no thrill unless the stakes are high and that gambling is like bungee jumping.

 The next day at the Beach Club, Brandon's boss, Henry Thomas, asks Brandon if he saw anyone around after hours. Henry says that he saw "Cheese McDoodles" in the carpet. Brandon plays dumb.

 Henry goes on to say that there used to be some after-hours poker games in the past and that it really grinds his gears when rich kids think they own the world.


While Brandon is busy lying to his boss, Dylan is busy selling off his possessions at a local pawn shop. 

 You may recognize the pawn shop lady from Naked Gun 33 1/3 or The Blues Brothers or Home Improvement or Mr. Belvedere or the Beverly Hillbillies or A.L.F. or tons more. This Pawn Shop Clerk played by Kathleen Freeman has an IMDB page for days.


Dylan brings in a box of goods and the Pawn Shop Clerk asks if he really wants to sell a picture of his girlfriend. Dylan corrects her and says it's his mom. Oooohhh, boy. This guy has daddy AND mommy issues. Poor guy. He leaves the pawn shop staring down his guitar in the window.


Back at the Beach Club, Steve tries to convince Brandon to host another poker game.

 This time, for big money. Brandon obliges.


Meanwhile, there's a killer at the beach. It's called the sun. Brenda and Donna work on their tans. Donna asks Brenda if it's hard having Dylan in the house. Duh, Donna. A duhhhh. Brenda says that Dylan is moody and that they barely talk to each other. She further explains that deep down she still loves him and it hurts her to not be able to help him.

 Sidenote: Notice the lack of Kelly? Yeah, she's not in this episode at all. Weird.


Anyway, even though the girls have a timer for the perfect amount of sun before getting into the cancer zone, Brenda falls asleep and gets a horrible sunburn. 

 Brenda complains that now that she's burnt to a crisp she won't be able to go to a party that night that Donna is probably getting ready for right this moment.


Don't fret, Cindy has an ancient remedy to cure nasty sunburns. It's something milky and disgusting.


Later that night, the boys, plus Brenda and Donna sneak into the Beach Club (after dark). The boys look dapper and the girls look glamorous a.f.

 Brenda and Donna attempt to smoke skinny girl cigars. Donna is better at this than Brenda.



 Now, exhale.

 Sidenote #2: I really want Brenda's outfit and hairdo. Shoulder pads, scrunchies and all. 


The boys are having a grand ol' time at this little here poker game.

 Even David Silver. 

Ain't nuthin' but a G (clef) thang!


 The Dealer, Danny Waterman wants to up the ante and mentions the game "Anaconda." He says it's heinous. 

 Dylan walks in and wants in. After all, he has nothing to lose except the only money he has to his name.

 The final game is down to David and Dylan. The pot is big, $400. Dylan even has to borrow money from Steve to stay in the game. David is unsure about his cards, but goes for it. No one thinks that David will beat Dylan. Then he does. Dylan went bungee jumping in poker and plummeted to his financial death. Brenda asks if he's alright. Pissed off, Dylan exits by throwing his cards on the table and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, it has been real." He doesn't need the Walsh family looking out for him, he can look out for himself.


There must have been more "Cheese McDoodles" left on the ground because the next day at the Beach Club, Henry asks Steve if there was a poker game played after hours.

 Steve denies it because whoever fries it, denies it.


Well, this time the "Cheese McDoodles" aren't the problem. Henry says, "This club had a major burglary last night." The TV and stereo were stolen. Bummer.

 Detective Pena played by Arva Holt whose IMDB page shows me that she's been pigeonholed in Judge/Cop roles in the 80s and 90s on shows like CHiPs, Hillstreet Blues, L.A. Law and more, finally had her breakout role in "There Goes the Neighborhood" as Neighbor #2. She's on the case and is ready to find who has been having these after hours poker games and who stole the goods.


Henry thinks it might be an inside job, but he's afraid that people will suspect him because of white privilege and well, he has a police record. He was in the car while his friends stole some stuff and he got blamed. Some friends.

 Brandon confesses to Henry that it was him and his friends who had the poker party, but that they wouldn't steal anything. Steve is smiling because he's a jerk. Brandon says, "What are you smiling about, Laughing Boy?" Brandon's upset that Steve made him lie to Henry and yells, "All you care about is Steve Sanders!"


Detective Pena hauls in all of the kids to the cop shop. She interrogates each one individually. Under pressure, Brenda confesses that she once stole gum and then her mom made her return it.

 Steve plays the rich kid card and says, "Do you know who my mom is?"

 David almost shits his Z. Cavarricci's and says it wasn't him. After all, he won big.

 Donna confesses that the worst thing she did at the poker game was that she had a cigar... and then threw up.

 Brandon tells Detective Pena that Dylan was also there and that he left separately, but that even though he's depressed and in financial trouble, he wouldn't steal.

 Back at Casa de Walsh, Brandon and Dylan have a serious conversation. It's here we find out that Brandon is a Neville Brothers fan.

 Dylan admits that he slept in his car overnight. Brandon tells him that the Beach Club got ripped off, Dylan doesn't care.


While Dylan showers, Brandon cleans his room and finds a ticket to Hawaii.

 Brandon is starting to question Dylan and thinks he's the one who burglarized the Beach Club. Brenda says, "He's not a thief, he is our friend!"


Detective Pena makes a surprise visit to Casa de Walsh.

 She asks whose car is in the driveway with the VCR, amplifier and fax machine in the back seat? Woof, it's Dylan's car. Detective Pena takes Dylan down to cop shop for some questioning.


At the cop shop, another detective walks by and says, "Like father, like son" regarding the burglary and Dylan.

 Jim in a turn of events, gets really defensive of Dylan and asks this out-of-line detective why he is condemning Dylan for something his father may or may not have done.


The Walshes, minus Brandon, reassure Dylan that they are on his side.

 Brandon has lost trust in Dylan. Back home, Dylan is bathing (again).


Sidenote #3: This show sure likes to show that Dylan is very good at bathing. He's been in shower scenes ever since he asked Brenda if she liked VHS.

 See that Neville Brother's poster? This brother, Brandon is Dylan's keeper. Brandon's all butthurt thinking that Dylan is the Beach Club thief. He shouts to Dylan, with the Neville Brothers to his side, "Done yet? You know there's a water shortage? Are you using my shampoo again?"


Dylan comes out all squeaky clean and says that he doesn't want to seem ungrateful, but can't help but sense that Brandon is upset with him. Brandon tells him that he found pawn tickets in the trash can. Dylan explains that he went to his storage locker and sold his family's belongings to stay afloat. It gets real serious when he says that he's selling his life, piece by piece.


Brandon asks about the ticket to Hawaii. Dylan says that he called his mom and she paid for the ticket; he couldn't tell Brandon outright because he's not the kind of guy who runs home to mama.


The next day at the Beach Club, David has a newfound confidence with his poker winnings and hits on Donna (oooohhh, a preview of love, perhaps?) saying, "Hey, little lady, can I buy you a snack?"

 Donna rolls her eyes.


Brandon finds Henry watching his programs and apologizes. This man seriously can't get enough of the Young & the Restless.

 Worried, Brandon asks if he still has a job. Henry isn't sure if he should be royally ticked that Brandon lied to him or happy that he told the truth.

 Hey! Good news, sort of, Henry tells Brandon that the other beach club got hit too. Turns out that the Seashell Laundry Service stole the goods. Now, Brandon has a clean sheet, but has more dirty towels to attend to. Henry already called Dylan to tell him that his name is cleared.


The episode wraps up at Casa de Walsh. Dylan knocks on Brenda's door and hugs her goodbye before he departs for Hawaii.

 Brenda makes Dylan promise that he has a good time. Dylan makes Brenda promise that she will stay out of the sun.

 Brandon apologizes to Dylan for not having faith in him.

 Dylan accepts his apology and the fact that Brandon is a Neville Brother's fan. Brandon gives Dylan a going-away gift, something he can really use.

 Haha. It's shampoo. But just you wait, Dylan has a gift for Brandon too.

 Hahaha! It's the same shampoo tied in a bow. These guys!


What's to come in future episodes? More beach shenanigans? Closure for Dylan? We'll see! 'Til next time.






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